Week 4 of 6 for the EPIC Women’s Monday Night Pinball League at Outpost Arcade in Chandler was one of those nights where pinball apparently decided I needed a recurring theme.
BALL LOCKS.
Lots and lots of ball locks.
But there was also a rainbow, a gorgeous sunset, a Dolly Parton fundraiser, an amazing strawberry Bundt cake, and—most importantly—21 league points and a 6th-place tie. So I’m calling it a successful Monday. 😂
🌈 A Very Pretty Start to a Very Chaotic Night
I arrived at Outpost to a rainbow and a beautiful sunset, which felt like the pinball gods were giving me a little encouragement before things got weird.
And then there was the cake.
Dante brought an amazing strawberry Bundt cake with icing drizzle and fresh strawberries.
No whipped cream.
We established that.
It was delicious exactly as it was. 🍓🎂
Outpost was also continuing its fundraiser for Dolly Parton’s Imagination Library, using the Dolly pinball machine to raise money for the reading program. EPIC Women’s Pinball League added another $100 to the fundraiser.
So before anybody even started flipping, we already had cake and charity. Oh, and Zoe’s amazing jalapeño cheddar bread with real butter. Thanks, Zoe!
Pretty good setup.
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🎰 Round 1 — Pokémon Premium
3-player group: Dante Fishell, Terri Boyd, Christy Kohtz
Three-player scoring is 7/4/1, and I finished 2nd for 4 points.
Final scores:
Terri — 112,396,920
Christy — 29,310,650
Dante — 9,803,230
Pokémon was one of those games where I could see the shots coming together, but I couldn’t quite turn them into the big payoff.
I found Pokémon.
Twice.
Did I collect either one?
Nope.
Because apparently finding Pokémon and actually doing something useful with the Pokémon are two completely different skills. 😂
Still, 2nd place and four points got the night started.
League total: 4
—
🐍 Round 2 — Medusa
4-player group: Zoey Wittmann, Elaine Hecht, Christy Kohtz, Olivia Helm
This one went considerably better.
I worked the drop targets, uprights and spinners, and on Ball 3 I slowed things down and started putting together some good shots.
Final score for me:
219,200
That was good enough for 2nd place and 5 points.
League total: 9
Olivia played text book level ball 2 and ball 3, amazing play to watch!
And yes, we have officially established that 4-player scoring is 7/5/3/1, because apparently Chat GPT needed to learn that lesson repeatedly this season. 😂
—
👽 Round 3 — Ultraman: Kaiju Rumble
3-player group: Jessica Rogers, Madison Barnes, Christy Kohtz
Ball 1: 2.3M
Ball 2: 3.7M
Ball 3: 11M
I got a ball lock, some upper playfield action, left ramp shots, uprights and scoops, and finally put together an 11M finish.
That was enough for 2nd place and 4 points.
League total: 13
—
🚀 Round 4 — Space Shuttle
And here we go.
The Lock Incident.™
My group was Patrick Swayze, Kaydee Helm, Tina Buhrman and me.
I started the game and immediately got a ball lock. Not on purpose. I know better.
And this is where I made my mistake.
Because I have a Space Shuttle strategy.
It is extremely simple:
> Go for the top lanes. Over and over. Keep it at the top. Ignore the locks. Ignore multiball. Just keep it at the top.
That is the strategy.
What did I do?
I got a ball lock and then started worrying about the damn ball lock.
I spent way too much time trying to get multiball because I was worried somebody was going to steal the locked ball.
That was 2nd place and another 5 points.
Final league total: 21 points.
And the funniest part?
Which meant I wasn’t doing the thing I was supposed to be doing.
Top lanes.
Instead, I got distracted by the lock situation and basically talked myself out of my own strategy.
Final score:
167,700
Good enough for 3rd place and 3 points.
League total: 16
Lesson learned:
🚨 IGNORE THE LOCKS, CHRISTY. 🚨
—
☢️ Round 5 — Total Nuclear Annihilation
And because apparently Space Shuttle wasn’t enough…
TNA brought the ball locks right back.
Group:
Krisha Shufran
Hailey Buhrman
Valerie Doucette
Christy Kohtz
I wasn’t even trying to get the locks!
They were happening against my will.
Ball 1:
97,300
Plunge, flip, lock. Plunge, flip, lock. Two ball locks. Plunge, flip, drain down the middle.
Ball 2:
122,800
Krisha left a lock. Me: plunge, flip, lock. Another ball lock. Plunge, flip, drain.
At this point I was barely getting to play the flippers because balls kept disappearing into the damn locks.
And then came Ball 3.
Somehow, the same kind of plunge that had been feeding the lock perfectly decided to bounce around a little and send the ball down the middle instead.
NO BALL LOCKS! YAY!
😂
I finished with:
138,800
Those accidental ball locks actually gave me a decent chunk of points.
So I’m annoyed at them…
…but I also can’t completely complain about them.
Pinball is complicated.
—
🏆 Final Week 4 Standings
There were 17 players, and I finished:
Tied for 6th — 21 points
The top of the standings:
1. Olivia Helm — 33
2. Kaydee Helm — 32
3. Hailey Buhrman — 32
4. Meghan Bougher — 29
5. Terri Boyd — 23
6. Christy Kohtz — 21
6. Elena Valenzuela — 21 l
6. Valerie Doucette — 21
Not bad for a night featuring two different ball-lock crises. 😂
—
📈 And There’s Still Season Work to Do
I missed Week 1 because I had family in town, so I only have three season-stat nights recorded so far:
83 → 95 → 94
The good news is that only the top four nights count toward season placement.
So with Weeks 5 and 6 still ahead, I have two more opportunities to add that fourth qualifying night.
The season isn’t over.
The silverballs remain in play. 🎰
—
🍓 And Then There Was Cake
Because every good pinball recap needs a food subplot.
Dante’s strawberry Bundt cake was absolutely worth mentioning.
Strawberry cake.
Icing drizzle.
Fresh strawberries.
No whipped cream.
Perfect.
Honestly, between the rainbow, sunset, charity fundraiser, cake and pinball, Outpost gave us a pretty damn good Monday night.
Even if the machines apparently decided the theme was:
“HOW MANY BALL LOCKS CAN WE THROW AT CHRISTY?”
Answer:
All of them.
😂🎰🍓
And then, because apparently the evening wasn’t quite chaotic enough, I left as the official Desert Dolls Halloween Party Provision Transporter, with a trunk full of party supplies—including one rogue can that immediately rubbed against another can, popped open, and started spraying everywhere.
So yes.
Pinball survived.
Cake survived.
Christy survived.
The car almost did not survive the rogue can.
Just another completely normal Monday. 😂
Week 4 of 6: DONE.
Still counts. Always! 🎰💜
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