Pickle Piracy (Age 11).
Monkey has expanded her criminal portfolio. While I was eating dinner, she calmly extended a single claw, hooked an entire pickle slice like she was landing a trout, and reeled it off my plate in one smooth motion.
No panic.
No hesitation.
Just precision.
Authorities believe years of experience stealing wallets, cash, cigarettes, hair ties, and slippers prepared her for this level of organized deli theft.
Still counts. Always.
Criminal Record Update: Pickles have officially been added to the evidence locker.